Judging for judgement?

Here’s something I’ve started to consider – something that I may be very well wrong about – but I’m curious so bear with me. And hey, I could be changing your life (as if I’m not already).

I went vegetarian over four years ago, as you’ll be aware if you’ve read my previous posts, and I was one of those pushy vegetarians. Once I changed my lifestyle, I pushed it on others and wanted them to do the same. It was kinda like when you watch a movie or tv show and you just crave someone else to watch it with you so that they can experience it with you. Anyway, I was pushy. And I’m sure you’re aware that no one likes a pushy vegetarian or vegan.

Eventually the negative remarks from others turned me silent. I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, and when I finally went vegan, I never told people unless it was absolutely necessary. Here I am, almost a year later, and I’m still reluctant to admit I’m a vegan – in fact, many of my friends will tell people before I say so myself. But the vegan thing isn’t all I’m reluctant to share, I hate admitting that I’m doing a Bachelor of Arts because so many people are quick to assume that I have no idea what I’m doing with my life – because apparently that’s what it means if you’re doing a Bachelor of Arts. So I’ll tell people my majors, and I’ll cringe inwardly when I say ‘Yeah, Bachelor of Arts’ *insert cringe here*.

But the thing I’m wondering is: why? Why do I care what other people think about my lifestyle? And why – here’s the topic title – am I so fearful of being judged?

And I know why. In High School, I was the ultimate judger. I judged girls in my grade and girls above or below me, peoples relationships. Anything and everything, I had an opinion. Basically, if you didn’t know me in High School, I was a bitch. It’s okay, we can admit it – don’t make excuses for me because I’ve accepted it. And hey, I’m still pretty opinionated obviously, but a few months ago I realised that my individual judgement of others was the cause of my own fear.

I spent so much time having these negative thoughts towards others that it made me fearful that people were also doing it to me. But the thing is that they probably weren’t! And if they were, I didn’t care – I don’t care. Of course there will always be people that you care about the opinions of, but those people wouldn’t want to hurt you anyway, and if they would then why care about their judgement?

Even so, why should we feel reluctant to share things that we’re passionate about? Sure, everyone has different life choices and opinions, but aren’t those things that you believe in the things that make you, you? So surely if you love and value yourself as much as you should, then you shouldn’t be ashamed to admit or talk about the things that you value in the world – and the people you’re speaking to shouldn’t be as judgemental as I used to be.

Not only that, but the more open you are to listening to the opinions and choices of others, the more you may realise that you actually agree. I have a best friend that encourages me to speak about my passions, and she talks to me about her own. In fact, she used to give me HOMEWORK to research veganism so that we could throw ideas backward and forward. If that’s not friendship, I don’t know what is.

We’re all going to value different things, we’ll all enjoy different lifestyles and that’s what makes us all different individuals. Too much of the same is boring, and I hate being bored. I used to judge people for taking gap years because I felt like university, marriage and then children was the only pathway. Ha. Ha. Here I am, the biggest hypocrite of them all.

That’s the thing. I’ll jokingly judge on this blog, but don’t take it to heart. I care as little about your possibly judged things as you care about mine. Well, I hope you care about things that you can judge me on – and hey I hope you judge me because I no longer care. Because the less I judge you, the less I stress about others judging me – and I don’t have time for that stress with my (and this is me proudly admitting it) Bachelor of Arts. So you go and have your negative opinions about my life choices, don’t worry: I won’t judge you for it.

One Comment

  1. anonymouslyafroirish

    Girl! Just do you. At the end of the dya, YOU matter! So forget about people cringing- if you’re Vegan and you’re proud, shout it out to the world. If you’re doing a Bachelor of Arts Degree (Which I think is pretty swell!) shout it out to the world. People brag about so much less in the world that we live in!

    Like

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