Can girls calm the fuck down?

I don’t know where this idea came from, but I’m honestly ready to discuss the shit out of it. With my added opinion, of course. After all, isn’t that why you’re here right now? Give me a few years and every letter I type will be worth millions. But here it is, this controversial thing that has suddenly become the in thing within some of my generations female species, and it’s this idea that being clingy in a relationship is ‘cool’.

Let’s get this settled: it’s not cool. It’s actually pretty fucking annoying, and I’m only a girl looking from the outside in…and possibly…maybe…definitely a girl who used to be like this. But we’re not here to talk about that, I’ve judged myself hard enough. No, I’m here to judge all of you instead, it’s so much more entertaining. Like Gossip Girl, except that you all know who I am…or do you?

All of a sudden, girls are going out and bagging guys for all the shit things they do. Yes, okay, a lot of them are genuine dickheads. But there’s a reason you’re dating the dickhead, right? We’re checking their phones, giving them no privacy, expecting constant attention, and lastly…oh this one shits me…being cheated on and then taking the fucker back. But that’s not all: then COMPLAINING because they don’t trust them. Do you females not understand that trust is the ultimate foundation of a relationship? Whatever. If he CHEATED ON YOU, THEN WHY ARE YOU WITH HIM?!

It’s as if as soon as girls get into a relationship, their claws are snatched into the poor fuckers skin and suddenly, ‘I’ becomes ‘our’. Oh, ‘we’re coming to the party’, or ‘we love that show’ helloooooooooo – when did you suddenly become siamese twins? It’s okay to be independent and individual even though you’re in a relationship. It’s totally okay to do your own thing, have separate interests, and to be alone every now and then. I’m not saying to push the poor guy away and make him feel like he did something wrong when he didn’t. I’m just saying to grow comfortable on your own.

Yes, I am speaking from full frontal experience because I used to be a poor love-struck girl just like the one I’m describing. I was all ‘how dare you have fun without me’ (cringe) ‘What are we doing this weekend?’ (cringe, again) ‘WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS OVER ME?’ (super. fucking. cringe). But how is it okay to think like that? I understand that it’s the whole ‘high school relationship’ that eventually grows into your independence, but unfortunately that change doesn’t seem to be happening anymore. It’s common to be protective of the things that you love in life, but if this addictive relationship shit carries on, then I’m honestly going to throw in the towel and become a les…nup, can’t even do that because the same shit would happen. It’s fine, I have a cat.

All of a sudden, we’ve become this greater force that expects so much from men. They have to pay the dinner bill, they have to do the heavy lifting, oh and they HAVE to send a goodnight or good morning text (going to admit that I was definitely a girl that expected that. Yet again I CRINGE) but whatever else we want to do is suddenly pro-feminism? I feel like men are suddenly being sheltered into this lesser species…like serfs or plebs (poor serfs and plebs), while we’re all of a sudden applicable to do anything and everything to them.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we’re awful, horrible girls who are too high handed…but I am saying that we can be that way sometimes without realising it. We communicate anything and everything with them, only to make the – maybe – poor guy feel like he can’t do anything right.

Behind every messed up guy, is probably a girl who made him that way. So next time you’re about to dig those claws into your poor fuckers skin (and not in the hot way), maybe consider if whether or not what you’re saying is fair. Sometimes we need a night with the girls, so shouldn’t he get a night with his guys? Bromances are adorable, haven’t you seen the ones in ‘Outlander’?

In all honesty, us girls need to learn to be a little more independent, a little less expectant and a lot-a-less possessive. If you love him that much, wouldn’t a night alone without your boyfriends attention be better than no boyfriend at all? (Not in my opinion, the single life is the prime life, but everyone’s different). And if another girl is checking out your guy, why chuck her a glare when you can grab his ass and claim it right in front of her face? Honestly, so much more satisfying. Not that I would know.



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